we compel you to transcendence

 painting of an unknown woman by an unknown painter in a known pub

my writing to which i lovingly-mockingly refer to as my junk never really included poetry.

when you write words underneath each other it's not poetry. author's intention.
of course that intention goes out of the window.
words underneath each other just to increase the breath, the space between them.

the insult of taking myself serious.
you're not supposed to do that.

to potter about with what can be said, exploring.

my career as poet found a premature end when at the age of 14 i wrote a poem to someone from school i was in love with, also 14. of course i send it anonymously. sort of stupid for he didn't found out it was me, but better too…. well, i thought, this is embarrassing i am not doing this again. of course since then i found more elaborate - and maybe more serious - ways to embarrass myself.

but then again, embarrassing, i as far as i know the english language is the only language that uses the word pathetic as an insult. but what about the actual greek meaning.

the secret universal, the androgynous view of art, in the high sphere it's the same and no difference and all the limitations are escaped. it's something i tend to agree with. it's a nice dream.
i'm not saying it's impossible. but so often it is misused. and i think successful examples are extremely hard to find. maybe that's why it is special, scarcity.

and who's reality - irreality - is it really. who determines how it looks like, the androgynous. yet if there is domination is it really properly androgynous. it maybe isn't.

and how often is it used as an accusation, you who you not master androgyny, you did not get over your own sexual/gender identity therefore your art is shoddy. we know already in whose favour this works and to whose detriment.
and how often it is also used to cover up the injustices committed, it's androgynous, nothing has happened. we are all the same.
we compel you to transcendence.
i stay at home. i like earth.
and if you can't get over your self you're a lower being.
why is the self an embarrassment?
we can't take ourselves seriously enough.

[but:
difference
is good.]

can you transcend yourself without intention.
can you transcend yourself within yourself, a meta-self, a split identity, to see yourself doing something. and why would you do that why creating a distance within yourself.
but is the androgynous distance?

it's only of value when it is without intention.